In this episode of You Can’t Make It Up…
According to a whistleblower report sent to Congress on Friday, the chief medical officer for Customs and Border Protection (CBP) pressured his staff to order fentanyl lollipops for him to take to the United Nations General Assembly meeting in New York in September.
When the top doc was caught, his excuse was even more idiotic than his desperate effort to get his hands on the deadly drug — disguised as lollipops, no less.
Dr. Alexander Eastman’s staff raised questions about why he would need to fentanyl lollipops to take to the UN, which he claimed was … wait for it… “part of his duties to make sure that any injured CBP operators were cared for, making the argument that the lollipops would be necessary for pain management should an emergency occur.”
Did I mention that Eastman was already under investigation trying to procure narcotics?
The whistleblowers said in their report to Congress:
Eastman spent copious hours of his, and Office of the Chief Medical Officer, staff’s time directing the OCMO staff to urgently help him procure fentanyl lollipops, a Schedule II narcotic, so that he could bring them on the CBP Air and Marine Operations helicopter on which he would be a passenger in New York City. Dr. Eastman claims that his possession of fentanyl lollipops was necessary in case a CBP operator might be injured, or in case the CBP Air and Marine Operations team encountered a patient in need.
Not to come across as cynical, but that’s one of the biggest crocks of crap I’ve seen as an excuse to procure deadly narcotics — particularly by an individual of Eastman’s standing, not to mention that CBP is the chief federal agency responsible for detecting and stopping the illegal flow of fentanyl and other deadly drugs into the country.
Here’s more:
Eastman’s staff initially responded to his request by explaining that Narcan, which can save the lives of those who overdose on fentanyl, has been requested for CBP operations in the past, but not fentanyl itself.
The whistleblowers say staff members raised questions about how he would store the lollipops and what he would do with unused fentanyl at the end of the operation, according to the report.
Eastman responded by writing his own policy regarding the procurement of Schedule II narcotics, which omitted any mention of how narcotics were to be stored and disposed of, the whistleblowers alleged.
Eastman was ultimately unsuccessful in procuring fentanyl lollipops because a vendor could not be found in time for the U.N. General Assembly.
The last line is both humorous and alarming. In other words, the only reason Eastman was unable to get his hands on Fentanyl lollipops was due to the lack of availability of a handy vendor.
A CBP spokesperson said in a statement:
CBP takes all allegations of misconduct seriously. This matter has been referred to the CBP Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) for review. Consistent with our commitment to transparency and accountability, we will provide updates as they are available.
Seriously? (Double entendre intended.)
According to Eastman’s LinkedIn page, he remains the Customs and Border Protection Chief Medical Officer. Again, you can’t make it up.
